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Tuesday, 13 June 2017

A Letter To My Thirteen-Year-Old Self


Dear Olivia,

You're deeply emotional. You always have been and always will be. You worry about tiny things and over think them until they seem so huge that nothing else matters. They do. I can assure you, half of the things you're stressing about now, you won't even remember in a few years.

You know how you play up in class with your friends? You won't stop doing it no matter how many detentions and phone calls home you get. You will have a colourful time at school but it will sometimes at the expense of adults that just want to help you, remember that. You will scrape through most of your GCSEs and A Levels, ace English (against all odds) and only really start to care about education when you get to university.

(You do get a degree in English, by the way. Even though that would mean nothing to you right now... do you even know what a degree is?)
 Friends will come and go so don't worry about being in the 'in crowd' so much. You will always be sociable which promises lots of fun times in the future. Getting drunk on Frosty Jacks in the park will soon be a distant memory and replaced with a 'quiet one' in Spoons. 

You won't even remember 'who was going out with who' in a few years... it'll even be hazy who your boyfriend was! You'll find sex is better when you love the person but you will have to kiss a few frogs to find out who that person is. He does come, though, so stop thinking so much about it and let it happen how and when it should!

You won't always live in March. I know you can't imagine anything different but you will be working and living in a different city... through your own choice! You think you've got a lot to worry about now, wait until you have to pay bills and it's not acceptable to be late in every morning.

It won't be long until you'll be able to admit that as much as you love Ne-Yo and Akon, you also enjoy listening to Bowie and Blur in the car. In fact, you'll follow many different trends to fit in and those short dresses and massive heels you wear in a year or so? Don't say I didn't warn you!

You hate your body now? That doesn't change. You'll starve yourself for many years and listen to no-one until you and only you realise it's unhealthy. Unfortunately, it will always be a battle for you. 

 Get ready for a turbulent relationship with your family over the next few years, you're going to be an absolute nightmare! Although you'll argue a lot, your parents do stay pretty cool, never restrict you and let you make your own mistakes. Just know that you will stay best friends and will love spending time with them soon.

Your hair will go through every shade in the rainbow and it will take a while for you to realise it's better to leave it or save up and pay for a real hairdresser to do it. Those girls you look at in Vogue? They're not real, that's why they don't look quite the same when you and your friend try to recreate them in your bedroom (yes, I know you do that)! You better think yourself lucky you're not growing up in the Instagram generation and can keep them to yourself.

I know you try not to think of the future but it's such a positive one. You'll find a sense of peace within yourself when leaving the confinements of school and you'll thrive off your own motivation. You'll work hard in every job you have (you do listen to Dad on that one) and you'll have built a few strong relationships with people that will always be there for you.
 
It's hard to see at 13 that you have your whole life ahead of you but, as you get older, it's easier to slow down and look forward to what's yet to come instead of dread it. Enjoy being young, learn from your mistakes and just know that it does get better.

It's 10 years on, you're nearly 23 and you're happy, Olivia.
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2 comments

  1. This is beautifully written! If only we could go back in time and reassure our younger selves that everything will be okay. But our experiences help to shape the person we become. I'm glad you are doing well for yourself, your story is inspiring!

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    1. Thanks so much for your kind words, Karlena!

      I agree, if only we knew then what we knew now things would be a lot different... but then perhaps we need to make all the mistakes we do to get to the place where we are now... Interesting stuff! :)

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